I love you

When you look into my face
and tell me with tearless eyes
that you want be closer to me
then why, why I say
why cut off my right arm
and say with a smile
"I love you."
and expect me to smile back
with tearless eyes.

Match Maker's Minuet

Selfishly you only think of your life,
Yet I still bend down and give you a hand,
But why should I give you a decent wife,
If you cannot give me a decent man?
Though games you play with women I send you,
They move away so you can have your fill,
No never will I try to match you true,
Only one chance for love can you be billed.
And still you ask for one more chance from me,
While cursing every moment you had her,
Have you not thought of what this does to she,
The one you said that could last forever.
One chance you had to break a loving heart,
And now you'll go on living by my art.

Search Results for; Kyle Spaltholz

Today I decided to search myself on the Google blog search engine. I only got two results. I'll let the results speak for themselves.

the adventures of the amazons of pr'o ut jungle: episode i
15 Mar 2006 by VonEvil will do...
lastly are kyle spaltholz and dave johnson, doledi.” sasha took a moment to absorb the information before inquiring, “doledi?” dave responded, “yes, it’s the term used to refer to the follower of dole and a user of dole energy. ...
SNAP - http://snipetysnap.blogspot.com/
[ More results from SNAP ]

fuck you kyle.
14 Nov 2005 by Dylan
this is an entry dedicated to the cursing of one kyle spaltholz. this conversation is unabridged and unaltered, copied and pasted directly from my chat logs. this is me venting because kyle is acting retarded. ...
Dylan, quite the ladies man... - http://akaitokage.livejournal.com/
[ More results from Dylan, quite the ladies man... ]

Sadly, and accurate description of my past in two search engine results. The good news is that I know where the first result comes from and the "fuck you kyle" post was unreadable! ...but 3 years ago... who's to say it wasn't?

A l o n e

Finally, I am alone. I don't mean that thankfully as in I want to be alone. I just find the hours alone to myself enjoyable now and again. Lately, I've been a social whore compared to what I'm use to being. The internet is something of a useful tool now and again instead of a daily utility of entertainment that it use to be. I'm working on school more and more as my education career moves from student to teacher (in fact, tomorrow I am taking the PRAXIS exam... a SAT for teachers to show that I'm not a completely incompitent person on some basic level). It is exciting to think of being out of school with so much to look foward to. I'm in a relationship that I could never have imagined ever being in even just two short (and extremely long) years ago. Work is easier than easy and I work less and less with six classes approaching the next three semesters and four during this summer. The impact on my wallet isn't as bad as it could be. I can still barely afford presents for my close family (just bought a gift for my brother's birthday which just came in the mail about 3 weeks late due to shipping from China) and still save money for next semester's books and car insurance (hopefully during the breaks I will work enough to save enough for both...). My ever eventful social life is as dynamic as ever. I recently connected with some old friends, all of which promptly blew me off. Other friends from my past can't seem to be happy with me for whatever dramatic reason (It always seems like someone is mad at Kyle...). Newer friends are better than ever, being more support for me than they could ever imagine and helping me through one of the toughest challenges I will ever face without doing anything but being themselves. I keep a written journal (I admit I've been slacking... but one sentence lines every week work right?) and I've been keeping a much more developed writting tablet. My classes are more difficult than ever, yet are steadily getting easier as the semester progresses (prehaps with the approaching holiday). After getting over every illness that this university can throw at me, my body is now suffering from poor eating habits (candy, soda, candy, and an occasional water bottle) which I've never been driven to before. I do run to class frequently more for the exersize than the tardiness. It feels good to burn complex carbs every once and a while. Music is fading in and out now and again with my busy schedule and busy schedule. I recently enjoy listening to a few songs on the radio such as "Hot 'n Cold" and "Let It Rock". One of my friends told me "Hot 'n Cold" reminded them of me... which I can't deny. I've been all over the place these past few months juggling the troubles of life. On top of everything we are planning a trip to Anime Boston '09! It will be our third trip to the convention ever, but every time is a unique experience. Especially since we have a great group of people. Unfortunately, my ticket rides on boyfriend-girlfriend drama that I happen to have gotten stucked into (my own fault nonetheless) but unless that solves itself soon... it looks like I won't be going. I actually wouldn't mind saving the 400+ dollars on the weekend adventure, but I wouldn't like to invest that money in a trip I'm not going on. In any case, we will find out soon enough if I really will make it to Anime Boston as Ovan (.hack//GU, it took a while to decide but I think Ovan would be something that is flashy and epic enough that no one can miss me in a crowd... especially with a cannon thing on my arm). My RIC friends are going to be going all out on their costumes and so would I. Other things that have invaded my life include a new obsession with the game "Magic the Gathering", an extremely addicting card game known for it's amazing artwork and dynamic gameplay, the abandonment of most online games with little game time into FFXI (my personal favorite), an addiction to NOT reading the course texts until after the test and enjoying them beyond words, rereading the old fantasy series "The Lost Years of Merlin" in my spare time between class as well as playing "Pheonix Wright - Ace Attorney" (only one word I can say about that game: OBJECTION!) My skills at saving computers and pirating anything my heart desires has become a pastime of mine. My 1 terabyte hard drive is helping me not only backup everything that I own... no, everything on anyone's computer I want. At some point during the economic crisis I began watching CNN daily between 9-11PM while reading Google news (getting my daily depressing dose of reality). I stopped abruptly when two things happened: I realized that CNN was poisoning all the happy things around me and when I finally heard someone declare our economic recession that we supposedly were going to stop ... somehow ... without recessing. In any case, I've returned to the empty entertainment of Futurama (or you may say recently discovered) and the occasional Sarah Silverman (only 15 minutes at a time... then I switch over to CNN). I haven't seen much of my family in Illinois in over a year now and it is beginning to bother me. And yet, I know too well what I have done and what I deserve and what I will recieve from them from now on no matter what words they offer (actions are louder than words). So here I sit, typing my train of thought into my blog... alone in a dirty room listening to a randomized list of all the music I've stolen or taken from people with thier permission. The amazing amount of music out there is amazing, and yet no one ever understood why I enjoyed everything there was. Most people enjoy a few types of music. I enjoy them all. Yes, I'll admit from the inner part of my soul that somewhere even Bluegrass touches me at that certain time and place once every great while or so. I don't know what I'm doing here. I should be sleeping. Then I would be alone. In the dark. Staring at the ceiling. Listening to the generator outside hum a noise that makes the night pass soundly. It almost sounds like the engine of a great ship, driving my sleep deeper and deeper until suddenly I awaken to the sound of my phone vibrating like a hampster waking up in the middle of the night to run his squeaking wheel. I don't have class early on Mondays, Wednesdays, or Fridays... but those Tuesdays and Thursdays are the most terrible days. Actually I should get use to waking up in the morning nice and early. As a high school teacher, that would be my daily rutine. I really hope that somehow I can handle high school long enough to be a permanent asset to some educational development. Why English of all the options? Because I love books, literature, poems, stories. I beat I could tell you a story you've never heard of before without any preparation (alright, maybe 5 minutes to think of a good starting point). I could definately survive at least 500 Arabian Nights. I've never tried. My toes are cold at the moment if you were wondering. I don't know if it is the music or my sitting position. I never sit properly. I am always lifting a leg awkwardly or crouching on the chair (ever seen a picture of "L" from deathnote? Yeah, something not as dramatic as that but close). My fingers are cold too, despite the typing. I should get some clothes on and get into bed. Yes, get clothes on. I'm naked. I'm alone, in my room, typing this post, completely naked. Well, I've got glasses on... but I can't see anything without them. I wonder if my movie finished downloading. I'm too lazy or tired or something to check. I'll just get the blanket off the floor and go to bed. Damn. Text from a group member. A project. Due soon. Don't want to do it. Can't meet group because of the test tomorrow. I'll get the info later. For now, I'll get to bed. I'm tired now. I am going to sleep.