1/29/09

School and Work and Sleep and Sniffles


So I've been carrying my sinus infection with me for a while now and it is annoying. I can't breath when I sleep sometimes and other times I feel like I'm not sick at all. I cough all the time though, but don't worry 'cause it isn't contagious.

School has been a bunch of schedule rearrangements and stressing out. I'm taking 6 classes for the first time and I understand why people go crazy doing so. Hopefully in my EDC class I'll get my background check and get my schooling assignment close to school. I'm excited for that. ENG 337 - Varieties in English is one of my new favorite subjects. It is a class that focuses on how Americans speak (for example one of our assignments made us rewrite words using phonetic spellings... which was tedious but a lot of fun!). The rest are average... but there are a lot of them!

I'm hoping once I get my school assignment I can tell work about not working EVEN MORE. My bank account is pretty much like a desert that eats anything that wanders into it so that won't help it at all. My future school schedule makes the future of Kyle at Rite Aid look grim. All I can see are weekends and maybe some nights. Oh well, I tell myself that I won't be there forever but I can't help wondering how long forever is...

I'm not sleeping well either. I am at a point where I just need a single, epic, do-whatever, PJ day. I don't even want to see anyone to do anything or nothing. I just want to sleep in and rest for a day so I can say I wasted an entire day! It would be nice to have people sleep over, THEN have the PJ day the day we stay up into. Maybe I'll do that once I get everything settled.

I'm switching roommates soon too! How epic is that? And with tomorrow a special day as it is... I wish we could move in together sooner...

(Sniffle) (Cough) (Sniffle)

1/27/09

Who else is not sleeping well?


So I've been having trouble getting the sleep I need... I admit it is mostly my fault, but when I'm tired I get extra obnoxious and tired :O I need to have a PJ day...

Cold ice beneath me,
Empty mornings without song,
Passionate night lights.

1/26/09

The end of the illness


So I've finally gotten out of "sick" mode and my body is fighting off some last minute sinus infection and post-nasial drip shouting "LET ME SLEEP". So I'm going to do just that... after I do all my homework...

And I recommend for all you people out there looking for something good to watch to check out Avatar: The Last Airbender. I'm addicted :O

1/21/09

Sickened <(;_;)> (Sniffle)


So I show up for school and two days of setting everything up, meeting people, and finding class stuff turned into the two incubation days of Kyle's Cold. It unleashed it's wrath after Tracy's Marill whipped my Bulbasaur's butt in Pokemon Puzzle League for the 11th time and I angrily (and stuffily) turned off the N64.

Getting sick is never fun. I hate getting sick. I almost hate mosquitoes more, but those bugs are usually night time only and with a gentle breeze you can carry them away. A Cold is much more persistent. It never backs down. I found there are three types of colds, each having a different effect when Daytime/Nightime remedies are used.

Cold #1 - 1-2 days tops

Symptoms: Sniffles, Some Nose Blowing, Headaches, Mild Fever, Tired but no hump day of disaster

When you catch a rank 1 cold, it is usually because you didn't wash your hands or something stupid like that or maybe you aren't eating right. Either way this isn't really anything but your body saying: "Why go jogging at 3 AM when you've been eating nothing but yodels all week?"

Remedy Results: Instant gratification

When you take the meds, you don't even know your sick. You might feel the "I'm on cold meds" high, but that's about it. It's like using an atomic bomb on plankton.

Cold #2 - 3-5 days tops

Symptoms: Sniffles, Sinus Pressure and Leakage (lots of nose blowing), Mild Fever, Aches and Tiredness, Mild Coughing, Hump Day of Disaster

This is something you can't control. You touched something, were near someone you shouldn't have been, whatever you did you got sick from a source of suffering. Maybe you just didn't remember to clean that book you read when you were sick and read it again with all those germies on it. This is something that your body knows how to handle... but it needs to remember how. This takes at least one day from that "Oh god, I'm getting sick" feeling. During your hump day you feel terrible, but you know there is worst things out there.

Remedy Results: Cold Rank 1 Symptoms

The meds don't kick in right away, but they do the job after a while. You feel better but people around you know your sick and stay away. You suffer with your tissue box next to you knowing that it will all pass in a day or two. During hump day you'll feel like a Rank 3 and pray the meds work better than the box says. Straight Liquid Remedies are your best friend against Rank 2 Colds.

Cold #3 - One to Two Weeks of Suffering

Symptoms: All of the above at Maximum Discomfort

You know why those people died back in the days. It is that bad. You lie there suffering, knowing you have to work, go to school, or do some other important thing... but you know that they won't believe you can't move. Only if they see you suffering will they understand. Pull yourself together and show them the disgusting you! They will send you away packing ASAP and you'll get your rest. The fresh air is good for you anyways.

Remedy Results: Am I really taking meds right now?

You begin to wonder if people really make those remedies just for money. You still feel horrible even when you take them, but you know your really taking them so you can sleep through most of the night (or day). The hump day is the worst and I do recommend just sitting down with a can of Vick's Vapor Rubs and inhaling it while you watch your favorite TV show or Movie. It will be over before you know it. At least you feel like you are resting cause your body aches so much. Just try to survive and prove to those who died that you are strong!

I currently have Rank 2 on my cold meter. I'm into day 2 and I just passed hump day. I expect I'll feel like crap in the morning, but with plenty of meds and a hot shower I'll be ready to go. I need to get some Vapor Rubs though. That and Dayquil (or Daytime) works wonders. I just don't like being sick when I have school all day and at night tomorrow. :-( At least I got sick early when classes are short introductions to the lessons for the semester...

(Sniffle)

1/18/09

Last moments of vacation...


I shutdown Final Fantasy XI, having hunted the Shikigami Weapon for the majority of the week, I close my laptop and head to my bedroom. Things are scattered everywhere. Books, papers, video games, clothes, pillows, bags, and half-full boxes. I browse my list of semi-updated blogs and post a comment. It's past 1AM and I've malfunctioned twice over already, but I'm use to it by now. I'm going to bed soon. I don't want to sleep but I will out of exhaustion. Tomorrow promises good times and happiness, but the most important ones are the ones that I miss so much.

1/15/09

.hack//Link


So days after I post my PSP up on Craigslist for sale I decide to check my source for .hack news: www.dothackers.net and what do you know, .hack for PSP gets announced! Well, that means I get to keep the PSP... although the xbox would have been nice. This all comes with bad news however:

IT IS THE FINAL .HACK IN THE .HACK SERIES

<(;O;)> I am crying on the inside.

That would be like Nintendo stating the next generation of Pokemon is the final one ever! (It feels that way to me!)

I hope that this game doesn't stink.

I guess I'll just have to buy the game and admire the intruction manual...

1/14/09

A Love Letter



Love,

I miss you.
Love, I need you.
Love, no matter what you do to me I will always love you because you are my love.
There is no other love and will never be another love.
This is a risk I was willing to take and a risk I gave to you openly to receive.
Do you still wish to love me as I love you?
Say yes, and hold me in your arms until I sleep and dream of you, wishing only to awake with you.
In your absence I will remain true to you and use my dreams to visit yours and, reunited, we shall be one and whole again in a splash of feiry passion.
Please, tell me now if you do not love me as I will always love you.
If you will not have me as your love any longer, send me away and I will remain a broken soul never to bother you again.
If you will, then do not hesitate to send me your truest love and know that mine will be the same in return.
I love you and I miss you more than our touch can describe.
Although I do enjoy that touch.

With many hugs and kisses,

-Your truest love

1/12/09

The Santuary of Zi'tah


This is the name of my favorite area in Final Fantasy XI. I enjoy the tall trees, the misty and sometimes rainy weather. I love to watch the Rock Golems wandering by the giant crystals jutting out from the ground every so often. The soft music reminds me that there isn't always a need to adventure, quest, or party in Final Fantasy XI. I can just sit here in this sanctuary and rest for a while.

And it just so happens to be next to Ro'Maeve where the Shikigami Weapon spawns...

1/11/09

Current Status: Check?


So if you can't tell what I've been doing with most of my free time... it is Final Fantasy XI. It is my escape from the truth that I can't see my significant other as often as I would like. I don't have the same cell phone plan to talk to them whenever, they don't live close enough to drive to often because it gets too expensive in my Jeep Wrangler, and our work schedules never seem to align. I wish that I could be with them everyday and see them home after work to some quality one on one time, but that just isn't going to happen. In the meantime, I'll be logging into the world of Final Fantasy, seeking some of the most challenging levels, bosses, and tasks any online game has to offer in hopes of mildly distracting myself from the true thing I cannot escape: Loneliness.

1/10/09

The Curse of the Linkshell


Well, that didn't last too long. The Linkshell leader has mysteriously disappeared for over a month and now over 80% of the people in the Linkshell have disbanded from it. It's kind of sad. Makes me remember when I joined a mega Linkshell back in the days of White Mage :-) I joined the largest Linkshell on the server at the time... only to have it break apart days later. I must be cursed.

Maybe it is time for my Linkshell, The Twilight Brigade, to start up again...

1/4/09

3 years old?!


Wow, I just noticed when I was checking out my new layout... this blog is starting to log posts for 2009! >.> That's a little scary.

1/3/09

Approaching Midnight, Malfunction in 4...5...6...


If you don't love me leave me now, but if you do then love me forever more and never turn back for to have loved and be unloved is worst than to have us love together and be seperated for eternity where at the end we will meet, for there is no limit to our greatness nor depth at which we will perish, because together we will love and be loved no matter what. We will be immortal to ourselves and others around us will marvel at our strength. We will be together. We will love each other.

And that would make me happy.

And we would make lots of love.

But we won't share it. :-P

Get your own loves!

Role models


Some people just don't make good role models. Unfortunately, it is up to the individual to understand why or what makes a role model. Or maybe that is the fortunate case?

All I know is this: Unhappiness is not something to model after because then you'll spend your whole life unhappy. Why waste it brooding on the terrible parts when there are so many good ones?

Sadly, not everyone knows true happiness and many that do are too lazy to get it.

I guess it's time for a question: Are you role modeling happy or unhappy?

1/2/09

/Sigh


I joined my first high level linkshell recently called Avatarawakening.

For all those WoW players who are reading this, a linkshell is a guild, except in order to make it more Final Fantasy they made it explainable in-game! A Linkshell is an pearl earring you equip that allows you to talk to people around the world who have a pearl that comes from the same "shell". The "shell" is held by the owner of the linkshell and the owner can upgrade "pearl" holders to "sack" holders (lol) so they have a sack of pearls to give away instead of just one pearl (basiclly a guild moderator). Fun huh?! And you can pick the color of your Linkshell to almost anything!

Anyways, I've finally been able to talk to people who play FFXI regularly ... regularly! I don't just talk to a bunch of random angry people bitching about how to play the game. I think the best part is that everyone in the LS must be a lvl 70+ Summoner which means everyone has to like SMN at least a little :-) yay! It's a lot of fun and now I can do things regularly that I couldn't do on a regular basis (such as killing Fenrir, the omega avatar, without losing a million times). I just hope that my casual playing style doesn't get me kicked out or anything :-( I don't play every single day all the time because (NO OFFENCE) I have a life outside of the game that requires more time than FFXI every day.

I feel bad that I have been playing FFXI more than WoW recently (yes I play both... don't eat my babies). They both have advantages and disadvantages. I just enjoy FFXI more often than WoW and on occasion WoW is a nice break from FFXI. The only trouble is that ALL of my friends IRL play WoW (well, the gamer ones). This means that if I play FFXI I miss out on playing with them. My brother (Ars in game) plays FFXI with me regularly and I can count on him to play with me whenever we can. It makes FFXI a good time. In WoW, most of my friends have launched themselves into high level, endgame material that, as a lvl 20 something Priest who needs to be babied along, can't even think about.

At least in FFXI there is the new level sync system (it lowers everyones level to the target players level in the party and your higher level equipment DEF and abilities are reduced to appropriate stats). I really enjoy playing with other people. In WoW, the solo stuff is overwhelming to me and I feel like I'm dragging my friends around to say "Kill this" or "I need to get here". I don't like using people for my benefit and I enjoy the team effort involved. Too many times I've been run through a dungeon that someone murders for my pleasure of looting the corpses for low level gear I'll just chuck in a few levels. It isn't really fun at all :-( and I don't want to take time away from their high level stuff to help the level 20 something Priest who can't even solo a mob their own level (it's my own damn fault for liking a job that can't solo lol).

Oh well. I guess the real problem is that all my friends have characters too high of a level for me to play with. Dilemma: Play with level 60-80 friends who murder mobs instantly or play solo for the challenge and die a million times alone in the wilderness.

Death is another thing that confuses me. In WoW, death does not exist. You die, you come back, you die again. In FFXI, you die and you lose a significant amount of exp (you can even de-level). It makes battles more intense and meaningful when your party survives an epic battle or gets wiped by a tough monster. The whole "Opps" factor involved with WoW death makes me angry sometimes, but it makes gameplay run smoothly so you can't really complain I guess.

The challenge is what I play for and WoW just doesn't seem to make it for me. I mean even my summons, the avatars, were meaningful to get. I remember fighting each avatar alone and defeating each one just to be able to summon them. That was epic and it felt good. Each job in FFXI has it's own challenges for everyone's unique play style.

I don't really want to rant on WoW. Like I said before, I play both, but I guess I mainly play WoW to stay in touch with the people who are just a few buildings or miles away. But is it worth it to play a game I don't whole heartedly enjoy just to have a conversation with someone? My game time suggests a resonable answer. Oh well. I'll still be doing both considering my significant other loves WoW. :-) And I do enjoy the unlimited character creation. I'm sure once school starts I'll be playing WoW much more frequently with my brother busy all the time anyways.

/sigh