Forgetting the Obvious

I can do this.
I will do this.
Just reach out and grab it by the reins.
Don't touch.
Possess.




A boy sitting at a computer.
A girl sitting at another.

The boy types to the girl,
While the girl types to the boy.

The girl knows what she wants,
and asks for it kindly.
The boy just doesn't want it,
and sets her down just to be sure.
For a while then she seemed insecure,
unsure of what wrong she had done.
For years the boy remained alone,
unable to hurt the other.
The girl remained by his side,
waiting for the seed she planted to grow.
The boy remained beside the pot,
refusing to water the thing.
As both stood by to watch the pot,
others came to court them feverishly.
One, a boy who could tap in,
and gain infinite knowledge,
yet he knew nothing,
because he never kept what he used,
he always wanted more.
Others, girls who were superficial,
One from a year behind,
Two from the first years,
Three from the local church,
All on Valentine's Day...
The boy knew something was wrong,
the friendship had begun to strech.
The girl gave up after 2 1/2 years,
settling for any knight on a black horse.
The boy saw this knight and knew the trouble,
but he watched sadly as they grew together,
and he sadly thought of what he had missed,
he thought of how he longed for togetherness,
the one other who could know him was with another.
Then there was jealousy,
Jealousy of longing to have togetherness.
But the girl was lost to another,
And the boy dare not disturb the peace around him.
So he stayed alone.

The friendship strained to the breaking point,
But when the girl pulled upon it,
The boy pulled back harder,
As if he had been waiting for it,
And it severed like a pathetic old man,
Homeless in the cold air,
Waiting for someone to help him,
Instead of seeking it himself.

For almost a year neither spoke to each other.
The boy refused to think about her.
Or at least he tried his damned hardest.
But when provoked by the thought of her illness,
by none other than the devil himself,
He began to wander back to the computer,
And when he walked to his computer,
She walked to hers.
And they began to type again.
How unfortunate she had fingers to do so.



I pull back from my mind,
And realize,
I've either missed the memory,
Or write too thoughtlessly.
I don't like my memory.
But someday, when I can't remember,
Who will be there to remind me of these things,
so I don't make the same mistake twice?
so I don't make the same mistake twice?so I don't make the same mistake twice?so I don't make the same mistake twice?so I don't make the same mistake twice?so I don't make the same mistake twice?so I don't make the same mistake twice?so I don't make the same mistake twice?so I don't make the same mistake twice?so I don't make the same mistake twice?so I don't make the same mistake twice?so I don't make the same mistake twice?so I don't make the same mistake twice?so I don't make the same mistake twice?

Isn't that what we're really afraid of?