While I often critique people for changing into people who they really aren't, I decided that it doesn't nessesarily mean that the person they were was the real them either. Who really knows? Maybe they still don't.
It's been very hard to get back into school. Work is on hold even as I write the post. I don't know when things are going to settle down. I don't even know if I can handle doing this, but I'm trying. My advisor helped me dorp my class schedule down to 4 classes and helped me structure a 4/5 year graduation plan (I graduate in 4 years with English and 5 years with Education).
I'm trying to be social, which can be difficult sometimes. I just want to be alone at times and others I can't bear it. I'm not emotional a lot of the time either. Sometimes it will hit me like a rock thrown at the back of my head when I'm alone in the shower or making chocolate milk at home... but for now I'm still too upset to do anything productive except WoW and FFXI.
I reactivated my WoW account and got my lvl 30 mounts (my ponies!) and I love them. THe only problem is if I stay away from FFXI too long and play WoW too much... I start to miss it. Then I start to play FFXI like crack. I went from lvl 73 to lvl 74 and 1/2 in one night (if anyone knows how much EXP that is, they would probably be sick... ok it's about 62,000 exp with each mob giving 100-200 exp per battle). I had great parties though and we worked well together against those nasty Imps. Tonight I will get lvl 75 and join the ranks of the elite FFXI players.
I haven't blogged much... mostly because I didn't know if I could with everything going on inside and around me. At least most everyone around me is sympathetic enough to be there for me when I need it, which is all that really matters to me.
But I'm tired. I've awoke every day at 7:30AM for the past 3-4 days straight (today I woke up at 9:30... but I went to bed at like 2AM). Maybe I'll get some sleep soon. THe main reason is I haven't been swimming in a while. I hope I get to go diving soon. I love to dive.
1 comment:
Kyle, I've been thinking about you all the time and wondering how you've been doing. I know and completely understand how you need to be alone sometimes when you're upset. The times when it's unbearable, you can always call me just to talk or if you need to get out and do something, I'll be there. <3
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