Exam

So I just finished my french exam... it was interesting. I am aiming for a B+ at best though... B- for sure. I might get a C+ but I'm not too worried about it. The girl next to me hadn't even filled in most of the oral part, which is always a bonus to lift my spirits.

School has been tough lately. I've been keeping to classes and such but sometimes it feels so hard to go to class. My dad was a major part of my inspiration to achieve and finish school. Now that he is gone I feel like this huge chunk of me has just fallen off dead to the ground.

Not that I'm thinking of quitting school or anything like that. I love school and really want to graduate and become a teacher... it just harder now. I could always come home with a good grade or a nice report to see him happy that I was succeeding. That was what drove me to the point where Kyle, the C+ in high school is being offered a place in the honors society. And you know what? I don't really care.

Also things that should be awesome aren't as great as they seem anymore. Things such as my promotion at work just aren't as exciting anymore. I can sometimes feel the claws of depression clutch my heels.

The part that hurts the most is when I wake up everyday to the sun in my room, remembering that these special things are happening and that I haven't told dad yet... only to have it hit me that he isn't there to give me his praise or a smile of approval. He just isn't there.