Another day, another month, another step ahead

I often wondered when the next time I would post would be.  Usually, I post when I'm emotionally rocked or unstable. 

Today that is certainly true.  Lots of emotional rides and anger have been happening lately.  Mostly because I think I have finally reached a breaking point somewhere inside where I decided: Time to change my act.

So I'm back on medication, eating healthy, and honestly tryin to motivate myself to go to the gym.  Work is more managable as time passes.  I'm use to the insults, the physical restraints, and (some) of the kids.  There are just some things that you can never find as average human behavior.

So besides being behind on a few non-critical bills, things are managable.  And that's the feeling I need to maintain.  Being overwhelmed by rent and bills, family and emotions, insecurity and self harm can be too much.  

I suppose Im not the only one in the world who has spent time looking at themselves and saying "What the hell is there to look forward to tomorrow?"

But as the list of things that keep me waking up each day grows smaller, I worry that, someday, there will not be enough left.