4/27/09

Lord of the Flies

Who knew writing a lesson plan would be so fun?

Enjoy the rewards:



“Lord of the Flies” Lesson Plan

Student Development / Diversity
The class for which this lesson was designed is comprised of 26 tenth grade students (11 males and 15 females) at a suburban school. They are a culturally diverse group including 4 African-American students (2 males and 2 females), 1 Laotian male, 1 Chinese male, 1 Puerto Rican male, 1 Guatemalan male, 3 Dominican females, one Mexican female, 1 German exchange female, and the rest are of European descent and were born in America. There are two immigrant students who receive ESL services, having not been in the country for long: The Chinese and Mexican student. They both have individual aides. One African-American male has a vision impairment, so he has an IEP. One of the white males also has a physical handicap, making it difficult for him to walk. His aide is able to stay with him throughout the class. Two students, African American and white males, have ADHD and are on a 504 plan. One white female is six months pregnant. 60% of the class is at the tenth grade reading level, 30% of the class is below the reading level, and 10% of the class is above the reading level.
From a Piagetian perspective, most of the students in the class are at a formal operations level, so they are able to draw logical conclusions from situations that have no basis in reality. From a constructivist point of view, students create knowledge from experience and observation, so we would group students together in diverse groups so that those students who excel can assist the others in learning. This idea is also called social constructivism. We would make sure to include many visual and auditory learning experiences so that the diverse students can all learn effectively. For example, we may read aloud from the text and also pass out graphic organizers and other handouts to aid in learning.

Rationale/Analysis of Students’ Special Needs
As mentioned above, there are students with ESLs, a vision impairment, physical handicap, two cases of ADHD, and one pregnant female.
The ESL students will each have individual aides who will assist them throughout the day in every class. We may place them in the back row of students so that discussions with their aides will not interrupt the other students. We will include multicultural references in our lessons so that both the Chinese and Mexican students feel involved and important. This is also a chance for the ESL students to teach others in the class about a diverse culture. Also, the most vital learning tool is working in groups so that students can learn from each other. This will give the aides a break and will teach the students who speak English fluently how to teach others and accept other cultures.
The male with the vision impairment will be seated in the front row so that he can always see what is on the board. If necessary, his tests, quizzes, handouts, and other assignments will be modified to accommodate his needs. In this case, that would mean enlarging the text itself.
The male with the physical handicap will be seated near the door because he will need to leave early in order to arrive at his next class on time. This way, he and his aide will not disrupt the rest of the class when they leave. Each day a different assigned student or friend will sit next to this student and help him with daily tasks, such as getting materials for him.
The two males with ADHD will be monitored closely so that they do not disrupt the rest of the class. They will also be separated from each other in the classroom seating plan. A daily plan will be posted on the board every day, which will benefit the whole class as well as the students with ADHD, so that they know what is happening. Any adjustments will be explained. In addition, we will be asking questions frequently to keep the students alert and focused. These two students are also on a 504 plan, which means that they receive extended time on in class written assignments.
The pregnant female will be monitored as well. We will be aware of social problems, such as other students harassing her and other family problems at home. If we see a problem we will offer assistance and refer her to the school counselor. We will also allow this girl to use the bathroom often and also be aware of other physical strains she may need extra assistance with. We will plan in advance for make up work because this girl will soon be missing a large portion of school. If possible we will have her complete extra work now so that she does not fall too far behind.

Lesson Plan
This lesson is for a 9th grade class. Previously in the year, students will have already covered topics about key literary terms and throughout the novel we will be picking them out and using them to define elements in the novel.

Materials Needed:

Novel “Lord of the Flies” by William Golding

Time Needed for Lesson:

This lesson takes place over a 2 ½ to 3 week period leaving room for extra time needed to spend on topics the class needs more time to understand. Each lesson is approximately one hour and thirty minutes long. The portion I will be covering is the first week (3 days of the lesson) in a block schedule structure.

Day 1: Biography of Author and Historical Context of the Novel / Group Activity (Short Story during WWII as a Student)
Day 2: Chapter 1 / Introduction of the Novel and Major Characters / Key Terms: Foreshadowing
Day 3: Chapter 2 / Development of Characters and Survival Techniques of the Children / Group Activity (Putting Students into Characters’ Situation)

Instructional Objectives:

Objective 1: To have students understand the historical context of the text.
Specific Objectives:
A) Students will have knowledge of the author’s life and his motives for writing the novel.
B) Students will have an understanding of life during World War II for students their age.

Objective 2: To have students understand each character’s specific traits and apply a previously learned term to the text.
Specific Objectives:
A) Students will be able to use the term Foreshadowing as defined earlier in the year and apply it to the events in the novel.
B) Students will be able to apply “foreshadowing” to current events in the novel.

Objective 3: To have the students relate to the characters in the novel.
Specific Objectives:
A) Students will be able to recreate the situation in the novel and compare/contrast their survival techniques with those used in the novel.

Instructional Strategies:

Objective 1: Day 1
Bloom’s Taxonomy: Comprehension and Knowledge

As a pre-assessment, students will turn in a one page author biography on the day that the lesson on “Lord of the Flies” begins. This will make sure the students will come to class having done research on the topic themselves.
Using their biography, students will contribute to a list of facts about the author rather than having a full lecture about the author’s life while stepping in to fill in some gaps that are left out. Students not contributing or who have not handed in a biography will be noted for penalties for class participation if necessary.
A brief, formal lecture on World War II to give a historical context to the novel to set the stage for the group activity. Students may also contribute to this lecture as well, promoting extra research done by students.
There will be a group activity in which students will create a short story about a student their age during World War II. This will help students understand the characters in the novel and their mindset during the time period. It will also allow students to express themselves creatively. The assignment will be collected and shared with the rest of the class before the period ends. This is the formative assessment.

Objective 2: Day 2
Bloom’s Taxonomy: Knowledge, Application, and Comprehension

As a summative assessment, students will be given a quiz on the assigned reading for the day. This will be a routine that will help give structure to the everyday lesson and give the students a motive to read the chapter. Quizzes like these will be brief (3-5 questions long) and will take a maximum of 5-10 minutes at the beginning of class.
A discussion on the characters and their traits will be the focus of the lecture for the class. A chart with each major character introduced in the chapter will help organize and separate each character while students will contribute to the list of traits. This will help students recognize each character as they develop later in the novel.
The term “foreshadowing” which has been mentioned earlier in the year will be discussed and events that could be foreshadowing for important events in future chapters. Other terms that have been mentioned earlier in the year will be discussed as the class progresses through the novel.

Objective 3: Day 3
Bloom’s Taxonomy: Knowledge, Application, and Comprehension

1. Another summative assessment quiz will be given, as was given in Objective 1, but the subject will be today’s assigned reading. A bonus question will be given regarding a previously discussed topic in the class related to a previous lesson on “Lord of the Flies” to promote review for future quizzes.
2. A discussion on the events in the novel will lead into the group activity for the day. The class will be lead into discussion about the ways the boys manage to survive on the island and the techniques they uses to maintain themselves. A short clip from the film “Cast Away” will end the discussion and begin the group activity.
3. The group activity will be the class divided into small groups and given a list of items to survive on. They will have to create a scenario in which they use the materials to survive on a small island for a month assuming there is edible vegetation and small animals. After that activity, a second list will be handed out. This time it will be a list of people and a description of each person. They will have to choose a limited number of people on the list to survive and continue to thrive on the island. These activities will give students a chance to think for themselves and as a team. It will also promote problem solving and decision making skills. These activities will be a formative assessment based upon how much effort was put into the choices made.

Assessments

Formative:
My formative assessments are based upon the class work that is handed in at the end of each class. By seeing how the class is doing based upon the group work, I can judge how fast to move into other topics and judge if the class needs to be challenged or have their workload reduced. Block scheduling leaves extra time in class to devote to group work. This is why most of the formative assessments comes from group work so that students who do not understand can work together to teach each other concepts and ideas brought up in class while giving an overall view of the classes status.

Summative:
Many of my summative assessments will be in the form of quizzes given at the beginning of class. This will help boost the grades of students who do poorly on large assignments or tests while giving structure to the lesson itself. Questions unrelated to the readings will show up more often as the lesson progresses to stimulate review. These questions will most likely be bonus questions, as these are more desirable than questions that “count” towards the final grade and help the students work for the extra points themselves. The 3-5 questions also allows for students to easily understand how each is graded and gives them an expectation for their overall outcome.
Final tests on each lesson will be in short answer and essay format to make sure the student understands the ideas taught throughout the lesson. This format will be used throughout the year for major tests and exams. The exam itself should not be a surprise for the students and review will be made and possible questions announced so that preparation and study is not overwhelming.

4/24/09

FFXIII



So I don't know why... but I'm suddenly excited about FFXII. So I changed my music to the battle theme... and I love it <(^^)>!

4/21/09

Update: The Last Straw


So I finished almost every paper I can until finals minus a lesson plan I plan on working on tonight. So school is finally settling down although sleeping in for a class or two doesn't help. I plan on meeting with Professors today and tomorrow to ask about finals and such.

And Shiki. I've been there every day (minus one for work and one for school), including one day my brother logged on for me and we've had a total of 4 Ying Yang Robes drop. NONE of them are mine. The fact that I am there every day while some people don't even show up for more and three days and get a robe astonishes me. I actually had to ban a LS member who got a robe and disappeared, claiming to "return one day and help at a later date" and after 5 days I gave up on him.

So I devised a plan at 5AM this morning. I pleaded my case to this batch of YYR lotters, begging for this lot because fo the work I do for the LS. They pretty much laughed in my face and began lotting as soon as I began to lot. Ofcourse I lost the lot. I have yet to win a lot in this game besides the Light Spirit Pact I got as a lvl 30 WHM (maybe thats where all my luck went). As a result I did the most devious thing yet: I told them all the wrong pop time. As a result, I will be the only one to show up. And with the help of my brother, Sheng (a good friend with a YYR), and a bunch of high level players I will take this claim and get my robe if it drops. If not, I still got the TOD and it is mine alone.

If the LS members want to help, they need to understand that this is my robe and they can get theirs AFTER mine. That's the way it goes. I am sick and tired after weeks of nothing. Not even "no drops" just no loot. I hate it. I hate watching a super rare item drop into the hands of a player who doesn't even deserve to wear it when I've been working my ass off to get this mob.

The time has come for no more mister nice guy.

4/16/09

School Work


Someone just needs to stop giving it to me.

4/14/09

Universes Colliding and Tearing Apart


I don't know what to do. Here are some points I thought I'd jot down here:

1. The Chicken or The Egg

Well guys, FFXI came first, I'm sorry to say. And they did a damn fine job. The PS2 was the master system at the time, and with PC players on the same server one year later it seemed as though FFXI was going to be set for life. So far that hasn't failed yet. WOW came out after FFXI and stuck to the dying Blizzards PC and MAC mentality, probably created due to the fact that MMOs can generate money for people who need it without doing much (OMG a monthly fee for a game you play online!). I'm pretty sure Blizzard didn't know it was going to be a hit, but now Blizzard is regarded as #1 in the MMO world... for a mistake (that made them lots of moneys). I can't help but think that people at Blizzard are laughing at people who play WOW. I just feel that the people who created FFXI really tried hard to make something that worked and that would survive for a long time.

2. As the years went by...

So after a few years FFXI population went down as WOW population increased. Expansions came out, bugs were fixed, etc. Then a couple of things happened. WOW, as many people discovered, had much more content updates and versatility than most other MMOs out there (considering the money it was making I don't think this is even close to what they could be doing). The fact that the game is PC based rather than Platform (or cross platform like FFXI) made technical restrictions such as memory a thing of the past (literally). Players ask for more bag space, they get it, they want bigger instances, they get it, they want a pony transfered via internet, they better f-ing get it! FFXI is unfortunately held back by the very thing that it was popular for back when it was released: PS2 compatibility. With the memory of the PS2 already pushed to the limits with the new expansions and new content and the seemingly limitless things to do, when the players ask for something, for example as described above: baggage space increase. This was nearly impossible for the PS2 to handle and required a lot of time and effort on SqareEnix's part to incorperate it probably costing them lost of money. And when they charge 9.99 for a 80 slot bag that works anywhere people go ape shit. It kinda makes me sad. Imagine someone saying "Draw me a picture with pretty colors" and the person only has a pencil so they go out and buy crayons. Wouldn't it be nice to chip in for that? We are all in this together (especially in this economy).

3. Alone

When I play FFXI... I sometimes feel alone. Yes, I recently found a group of six or so ppl who regular at my schedule and who know and respect me... but that doesn't mean shit. It isn't quite as fun when you can sit down at dinner and talk about your recent monster hunting party, knowing the person there, physically there, is understanding of what you have accomplished and gained. No to mention the offline chatting makes the text based chat seem like a toy. You can laugh at the same stupid crap people do when playing together or share an important moment if they are nearby. But now I am alone. There is no one in my "group" who would rather switch WOW for FFXI (most of the time I get a grimace or a chuckle and a snarky remark about the inferiority of FFXI and the superiority of WOW...) which leads me to trail back to the game... reluctantly... about once or twice a month so I can actually do something meaningful for someone else.

That's sad. And I'm not blaming them for NOT leaving WOW. Hell I wouldn't leave if I loved it as much as I love FFXI and I understand that the security of WOW brings them. But I can't help but wonder what would happen if WOW suddenly just dropped from the face of the earth. I'm guessing most people would just start playing on private servers...

/sigh

4/12/09

Suddenly...


I was lying on the ground when it hit me.

I was a part of it.

4/11/09

Shikigami Weapon Update


So we missed the first claim cause the monster popped early... oh well! Square Enix decided an emergency update was at hand which gave us one more "first" chance to get it... and we did! But the item didn't drop :( so I'm kinda disappointed considering we had Treasure Hunter 2 ... but at least we got the time of death. The only problem is I'm in charge of keeping track of it and I can't make it X_X;; OH NOES! Hopefully my Linkshell won't miss him tomorrow morning. I have a friend called Mehrel who is going to be helping camp it tomorrow morning while I'm at work so hopefully she will get TOD... but in any case... it means an early morning Monday!

4/7/09

Help.



I was walking through Vana'diel... when I realized he was gone...

And the tonberry's really don't care.

I was sitting in class... watching the book written in french...

And the professor doesn't really care.

I was reading about Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore...

And he just smiled back at me sadly with his shiny spectacles...


Still I keep looking for it.

4/5/09

That stupid item...


The hunt begins... April 8th...

Be prepared!

4/2/09

Grey Day


Amidst the dongs of noon are ravens.
Skyward, most go above and around me.
My ego is amused by their black laughter.
They will fall eventually. I mutter determinedly
while dull, content clouds float over-head.

Sex.


The night does not make me tremble,
but enfebbles me with excitment.
Curiously, you move towards my bed.
Even though you haven't touched me,
in the dark you're fur ruffles,
following rumbles from your throat,
all make me whine in ecstasy.
You finally make your fatal approach.
Shuddering under your ravenous gaze,
I go to taste that tense part,
that throbs above me, waiting.
A Milky Way flavored sweet.
Wet 'n Wild, when you pull out,
You know now only our rhythm,
may move you to rest soundly.
Oh, come deeper into the real me.
Must there be two owls,
hooting into this white night?
Higher, rasping in this newborn body,
but time to come home my master and slave,

forever,
your mourning dove.

3/30/09

Exam


So I just finished my french exam... it was interesting. I am aiming for a B+ at best though... B- for sure. I might get a C+ but I'm not too worried about it. The girl next to me hadn't even filled in most of the oral part, which is always a bonus to lift my spirits.

School has been tough lately. I've been keeping to classes and such but sometimes it feels so hard to go to class. My dad was a major part of my inspiration to achieve and finish school. Now that he is gone I feel like this huge chunk of me has just fallen off dead to the ground.

Not that I'm thinking of quitting school or anything like that. I love school and really want to graduate and become a teacher... it just harder now. I could always come home with a good grade or a nice report to see him happy that I was succeeding. That was what drove me to the point where Kyle, the C+ in high school is being offered a place in the honors society. And you know what? I don't really care.

Also things that should be awesome aren't as great as they seem anymore. Things such as my promotion at work just aren't as exciting anymore. I can sometimes feel the claws of depression clutch my heels.

The part that hurts the most is when I wake up everyday to the sun in my room, remembering that these special things are happening and that I haven't told dad yet... only to have it hit me that he isn't there to give me his praise or a smile of approval. He just isn't there.

3/26/09

Working on it!!!


Today is busy. School, Drug Test, School, Work. Simple yet deceptively intense.

3/20/09

Reborn the Phony Ones


I hate phonies. I hate them as much as Holden Caulfield, but I can't say we come from the same perspective.

All I care about is if you know you're faking it. If you know you're faking it, then fine. Please spare me the wasted time, drama, and meaningless progression of this "fake" identity. At least you know what you are doing. You know you are missing out. You know you are causing the drama. You know you are the one who needs to sort this out.

I can't help you with that. I'm sorry, that's how it works.

Eventually you'll understand. I know you might not right now or you're just nodding to every word I say, but someday you'll know. You'll just freakin' know how stupid it all is and fuck salt like Tourettes Guy on the internet and move on.

Yeah. It's simple. I know. God it is way too simple but remember this: not everyone makes it there. Not everyone gets to fuck the salt.

So it is your time table but there it is for you. It took me longer than most and yet sooner than others. No one knows. It's like dying. You never know when it is going to happen.

But believe me. It is definatly the end of your life as you know it and the rebirth of another. The funny part is that once it happens to you, you know someday it will happen again and you'll become a whole new person once again.

3/19/09

I had a bad day.

I don't want to go into details, but I had a bad day today. I'm allowed to have a bad day when it happens and no one will tell me when I can or can't have one. It is mine and I am going to be selfish this time because I deserve it.

Anyways, I hope tomorrow will be better.

3/17/09

21 years

I made it. Yay.

...

I'm going to bed like an old person now. Good night!

3/7/09

March 7th - Thoughts


Rain, plain old rain
is suddenly a blessing.
No more noises or moans
heard from home sweet home.
Now I am alone to lounge about.
Only the ominous, aluminum drops
are dripping down the sticky handrails.
Students escape to their cars for shelter.
Yesterday's car repairs are next weeks rides from friends.
"One more day, we will call you." the lady lets me know.
If only she knew what one more day meant.
Maybe Monday I'll call her back.
But I'd better wait before,
they rush on my repairs.
I love my Wrangler.
My dad did too.

2/26/09

Things are different


While I often critique people for changing into people who they really aren't, I decided that it doesn't nessesarily mean that the person they were was the real them either. Who really knows? Maybe they still don't.

It's been very hard to get back into school. Work is on hold even as I write the post. I don't know when things are going to settle down. I don't even know if I can handle doing this, but I'm trying. My advisor helped me dorp my class schedule down to 4 classes and helped me structure a 4/5 year graduation plan (I graduate in 4 years with English and 5 years with Education).

I'm trying to be social, which can be difficult sometimes. I just want to be alone at times and others I can't bear it. I'm not emotional a lot of the time either. Sometimes it will hit me like a rock thrown at the back of my head when I'm alone in the shower or making chocolate milk at home... but for now I'm still too upset to do anything productive except WoW and FFXI.

I reactivated my WoW account and got my lvl 30 mounts (my ponies!) and I love them. THe only problem is if I stay away from FFXI too long and play WoW too much... I start to miss it. Then I start to play FFXI like crack. I went from lvl 73 to lvl 74 and 1/2 in one night (if anyone knows how much EXP that is, they would probably be sick... ok it's about 62,000 exp with each mob giving 100-200 exp per battle). I had great parties though and we worked well together against those nasty Imps. Tonight I will get lvl 75 and join the ranks of the elite FFXI players.

I haven't blogged much... mostly because I didn't know if I could with everything going on inside and around me. At least most everyone around me is sympathetic enough to be there for me when I need it, which is all that really matters to me.

But I'm tired. I've awoke every day at 7:30AM for the past 3-4 days straight (today I woke up at 9:30... but I went to bed at like 2AM). Maybe I'll get some sleep soon. THe main reason is I haven't been swimming in a while. I hope I get to go diving soon. I love to dive.

2/22/09

DND


I hope my story works out <(X_X)>

Wish me luck for today's campaign...

2/18/09

3 Days of Fruit Salad


So, I went into a Fruit Salad comatose for 3 days and I finally came out with a bang: Pizza. Not the americanized version either with cheese and stuff, just plain old pizza.

Then I made a delicious "Italian Sandwich" as I would call it. Basicly, it's oil, vinegar, salami and other cold cut meats, lettuce, and cheeze. Unfortunately I microwaved it to heat it up instead of toasting it. Hey, it tasted good anyways so I'm not complaining.

Today I relapsed with some Choco-Strawberries. I guess you could call that a 1/2 relapse cause they were covered in chocolate... but I'm recovering with another "Italian Sandwich" now.

2/16/09

the day of the service

I thought he looked good yesterday. I was there for 20+ years of my life with him before death, I was there at death, and I was there after. He looked better than he did, but he would never be the same.

My mom needs her medicine every 4 hours to keep sanity, but she is backing off for today on a need-to-have basis. Mark and I don't need them, but I know we aren't doing fine. No one is doing fine.

I'm getting into my new clothes we got for the funeral. I've never had anything really special nice like this. I picked out my Dad's favorite tie and got a matching outfit. I always envied it. I look good. I even got a blue shirt somehow, which is the only color of button-up shirt I've ever owned.

I'm going to be changing soon, so I should get going. I love you all and I miss you so much. Call me.

2/14/09

the morning after

I hadn't slept for over 40 hours straight. I didn't feel tired oddly enough. Before today that would have been a death sentence. I didn't know the definition of tired, but perhaps the shock of it all was keeping me awake as long as I needed.

I bet I could have stayed up for a week straight. There was no motive for me to go to sleep besides the fact that there was nothing to do. My mom's friend Laurie (who is acting as our advisor/councilor/backbone for the week), my Auntie Dorene (my dad's sister), and my Auntie Dale (my mom's sister) were all sitting down stairs with my mom eating our tower of food that people had brought over throughout the day while the medication kicked in. My sinus infection seemed to be wearing away with all the tissue and nose blowing I was doing already. I decided that I should go lay down on the couch.

I called Brian, turned my phone on medium ring in case I got a phone call, and closed my eyes for ten hours and missed one phone call.

I awoke to my mothers cries from downstairs.

2/13/09

death

he didn't make it.

2/12/09

update

My dad is in the hospital. He had pain in his back which turned into something much worst. He has an problem with his major blood vessel that pumps blood to his whole body. It is leaking blood. I don't know what to do. One hour until he is suppose to come out. Please be OK dad. Please be ok.

2/11/09

The Pressure is Killing Me!!!


So I'm sick again. My room is a mess and I'm embaressed by its state. My head hurts so bad because of the freakin' sinus pressure... AGH! I just want to smack my head against a wall, crack it open, and let the pressure and fluids drain out... but last time I did that I had a bump on my head and no symptom relief.

I'm starting to stress out. Why is it that the one chance I get to sleep in each week is foiled by some universal, unbendable event? Maybe I'm not meant to sleep more than 3-5 hours at a time :-( last night I was asleep from 10ish to 2AM, got up and couldn't breath so I stayed up the rest of the night til 6AM, slept some more until 9AM, and started my day.

I want a PJ day so badly. :-(

2/7/09

Quote of the Day


Bryce Vanderlann - Grade 5, Age 10

"When little kids think of Italy, they think of Lasanga. When little kids think of Russia, they think of nuclear bombs."

A Lonely Night


So I was alone last night... and I was upset. I wasn't sad, it was sort of a good and bad upset. I was excited because my roommate is finally leaving for good and I can finally have quality, no worry time with my significant other. The reason this upset me was because they weren't here last night to enjoy the news or help me get to sleep...

But when I am tired I get more emotional and this week I've had to wake up early EVERY DAY. My head hurts!!! School work + Work + Early mornings = Depressed and emotional.

At least I've got a ton of Magic the Gathering Cards to keep me company <.< and a friend to help me forget that they aren't here.

(And FYI I posted this picture of the picture on the card I got as the picture because I got this handsome man in one of my five booster packs yesterday!!! He is going to fit in nicely with my other Dragons as their Planeswalker Dragon God!!!)

2/3/09

Drama with a capital D

It's 11:30AM, I'm in ENG 202 bored and as confused as the rest of the class and I begin to doodle. First I draw a Panda bear with poka-dots on it.

Then I get angry at the bear and flip over the paper. I start to draw a person, which starts to turn into a guy with a sword and then BAM. I crumble up the paper and toss it aside.

I didn't plan on drawing a familiar doodle that day. Nor did I feel that this doodle would have made me as agitated as it did. It brought back memories of high school and the olden days. But most of all it reminded me of someone who wouldn't even give a damn.

And that bothers me.

It bothers me that after all those years, I could just as well be the last bitch they dated.

Why do I even let this bother me?

Maybe it is because that is all I have against them. It bothers me but couldn't mean anything better to them.

I must be a real jack-ass.

PS: No Pitcure B/C internet is freaking out.
PPS: I'm tired, so forgive this bitchy post :(

1/29/09

School and Work and Sleep and Sniffles


So I've been carrying my sinus infection with me for a while now and it is annoying. I can't breath when I sleep sometimes and other times I feel like I'm not sick at all. I cough all the time though, but don't worry 'cause it isn't contagious.

School has been a bunch of schedule rearrangements and stressing out. I'm taking 6 classes for the first time and I understand why people go crazy doing so. Hopefully in my EDC class I'll get my background check and get my schooling assignment close to school. I'm excited for that. ENG 337 - Varieties in English is one of my new favorite subjects. It is a class that focuses on how Americans speak (for example one of our assignments made us rewrite words using phonetic spellings... which was tedious but a lot of fun!). The rest are average... but there are a lot of them!

I'm hoping once I get my school assignment I can tell work about not working EVEN MORE. My bank account is pretty much like a desert that eats anything that wanders into it so that won't help it at all. My future school schedule makes the future of Kyle at Rite Aid look grim. All I can see are weekends and maybe some nights. Oh well, I tell myself that I won't be there forever but I can't help wondering how long forever is...

I'm not sleeping well either. I am at a point where I just need a single, epic, do-whatever, PJ day. I don't even want to see anyone to do anything or nothing. I just want to sleep in and rest for a day so I can say I wasted an entire day! It would be nice to have people sleep over, THEN have the PJ day the day we stay up into. Maybe I'll do that once I get everything settled.

I'm switching roommates soon too! How epic is that? And with tomorrow a special day as it is... I wish we could move in together sooner...

(Sniffle) (Cough) (Sniffle)

1/27/09

Who else is not sleeping well?


So I've been having trouble getting the sleep I need... I admit it is mostly my fault, but when I'm tired I get extra obnoxious and tired :O I need to have a PJ day...

Cold ice beneath me,
Empty mornings without song,
Passionate night lights.

1/26/09

The end of the illness


So I've finally gotten out of "sick" mode and my body is fighting off some last minute sinus infection and post-nasial drip shouting "LET ME SLEEP". So I'm going to do just that... after I do all my homework...

And I recommend for all you people out there looking for something good to watch to check out Avatar: The Last Airbender. I'm addicted :O

1/21/09

Sickened <(;_;)> (Sniffle)


So I show up for school and two days of setting everything up, meeting people, and finding class stuff turned into the two incubation days of Kyle's Cold. It unleashed it's wrath after Tracy's Marill whipped my Bulbasaur's butt in Pokemon Puzzle League for the 11th time and I angrily (and stuffily) turned off the N64.

Getting sick is never fun. I hate getting sick. I almost hate mosquitoes more, but those bugs are usually night time only and with a gentle breeze you can carry them away. A Cold is much more persistent. It never backs down. I found there are three types of colds, each having a different effect when Daytime/Nightime remedies are used.

Cold #1 - 1-2 days tops

Symptoms: Sniffles, Some Nose Blowing, Headaches, Mild Fever, Tired but no hump day of disaster

When you catch a rank 1 cold, it is usually because you didn't wash your hands or something stupid like that or maybe you aren't eating right. Either way this isn't really anything but your body saying: "Why go jogging at 3 AM when you've been eating nothing but yodels all week?"

Remedy Results: Instant gratification

When you take the meds, you don't even know your sick. You might feel the "I'm on cold meds" high, but that's about it. It's like using an atomic bomb on plankton.

Cold #2 - 3-5 days tops

Symptoms: Sniffles, Sinus Pressure and Leakage (lots of nose blowing), Mild Fever, Aches and Tiredness, Mild Coughing, Hump Day of Disaster

This is something you can't control. You touched something, were near someone you shouldn't have been, whatever you did you got sick from a source of suffering. Maybe you just didn't remember to clean that book you read when you were sick and read it again with all those germies on it. This is something that your body knows how to handle... but it needs to remember how. This takes at least one day from that "Oh god, I'm getting sick" feeling. During your hump day you feel terrible, but you know there is worst things out there.

Remedy Results: Cold Rank 1 Symptoms

The meds don't kick in right away, but they do the job after a while. You feel better but people around you know your sick and stay away. You suffer with your tissue box next to you knowing that it will all pass in a day or two. During hump day you'll feel like a Rank 3 and pray the meds work better than the box says. Straight Liquid Remedies are your best friend against Rank 2 Colds.

Cold #3 - One to Two Weeks of Suffering

Symptoms: All of the above at Maximum Discomfort

You know why those people died back in the days. It is that bad. You lie there suffering, knowing you have to work, go to school, or do some other important thing... but you know that they won't believe you can't move. Only if they see you suffering will they understand. Pull yourself together and show them the disgusting you! They will send you away packing ASAP and you'll get your rest. The fresh air is good for you anyways.

Remedy Results: Am I really taking meds right now?

You begin to wonder if people really make those remedies just for money. You still feel horrible even when you take them, but you know your really taking them so you can sleep through most of the night (or day). The hump day is the worst and I do recommend just sitting down with a can of Vick's Vapor Rubs and inhaling it while you watch your favorite TV show or Movie. It will be over before you know it. At least you feel like you are resting cause your body aches so much. Just try to survive and prove to those who died that you are strong!

I currently have Rank 2 on my cold meter. I'm into day 2 and I just passed hump day. I expect I'll feel like crap in the morning, but with plenty of meds and a hot shower I'll be ready to go. I need to get some Vapor Rubs though. That and Dayquil (or Daytime) works wonders. I just don't like being sick when I have school all day and at night tomorrow. :-( At least I got sick early when classes are short introductions to the lessons for the semester...

(Sniffle)

1/18/09

Last moments of vacation...


I shutdown Final Fantasy XI, having hunted the Shikigami Weapon for the majority of the week, I close my laptop and head to my bedroom. Things are scattered everywhere. Books, papers, video games, clothes, pillows, bags, and half-full boxes. I browse my list of semi-updated blogs and post a comment. It's past 1AM and I've malfunctioned twice over already, but I'm use to it by now. I'm going to bed soon. I don't want to sleep but I will out of exhaustion. Tomorrow promises good times and happiness, but the most important ones are the ones that I miss so much.

1/15/09

.hack//Link


So days after I post my PSP up on Craigslist for sale I decide to check my source for .hack news: www.dothackers.net and what do you know, .hack for PSP gets announced! Well, that means I get to keep the PSP... although the xbox would have been nice. This all comes with bad news however:

IT IS THE FINAL .HACK IN THE .HACK SERIES

<(;O;)> I am crying on the inside.

That would be like Nintendo stating the next generation of Pokemon is the final one ever! (It feels that way to me!)

I hope that this game doesn't stink.

I guess I'll just have to buy the game and admire the intruction manual...

1/14/09

A Love Letter



Love,

I miss you.
Love, I need you.
Love, no matter what you do to me I will always love you because you are my love.
There is no other love and will never be another love.
This is a risk I was willing to take and a risk I gave to you openly to receive.
Do you still wish to love me as I love you?
Say yes, and hold me in your arms until I sleep and dream of you, wishing only to awake with you.
In your absence I will remain true to you and use my dreams to visit yours and, reunited, we shall be one and whole again in a splash of feiry passion.
Please, tell me now if you do not love me as I will always love you.
If you will not have me as your love any longer, send me away and I will remain a broken soul never to bother you again.
If you will, then do not hesitate to send me your truest love and know that mine will be the same in return.
I love you and I miss you more than our touch can describe.
Although I do enjoy that touch.

With many hugs and kisses,

-Your truest love

1/12/09

The Santuary of Zi'tah


This is the name of my favorite area in Final Fantasy XI. I enjoy the tall trees, the misty and sometimes rainy weather. I love to watch the Rock Golems wandering by the giant crystals jutting out from the ground every so often. The soft music reminds me that there isn't always a need to adventure, quest, or party in Final Fantasy XI. I can just sit here in this sanctuary and rest for a while.

And it just so happens to be next to Ro'Maeve where the Shikigami Weapon spawns...

1/11/09

Current Status: Check?


So if you can't tell what I've been doing with most of my free time... it is Final Fantasy XI. It is my escape from the truth that I can't see my significant other as often as I would like. I don't have the same cell phone plan to talk to them whenever, they don't live close enough to drive to often because it gets too expensive in my Jeep Wrangler, and our work schedules never seem to align. I wish that I could be with them everyday and see them home after work to some quality one on one time, but that just isn't going to happen. In the meantime, I'll be logging into the world of Final Fantasy, seeking some of the most challenging levels, bosses, and tasks any online game has to offer in hopes of mildly distracting myself from the true thing I cannot escape: Loneliness.

1/10/09

The Curse of the Linkshell


Well, that didn't last too long. The Linkshell leader has mysteriously disappeared for over a month and now over 80% of the people in the Linkshell have disbanded from it. It's kind of sad. Makes me remember when I joined a mega Linkshell back in the days of White Mage :-) I joined the largest Linkshell on the server at the time... only to have it break apart days later. I must be cursed.

Maybe it is time for my Linkshell, The Twilight Brigade, to start up again...

1/4/09

3 years old?!


Wow, I just noticed when I was checking out my new layout... this blog is starting to log posts for 2009! >.> That's a little scary.

1/3/09

Approaching Midnight, Malfunction in 4...5...6...


If you don't love me leave me now, but if you do then love me forever more and never turn back for to have loved and be unloved is worst than to have us love together and be seperated for eternity where at the end we will meet, for there is no limit to our greatness nor depth at which we will perish, because together we will love and be loved no matter what. We will be immortal to ourselves and others around us will marvel at our strength. We will be together. We will love each other.

And that would make me happy.

And we would make lots of love.

But we won't share it. :-P

Get your own loves!

Role models


Some people just don't make good role models. Unfortunately, it is up to the individual to understand why or what makes a role model. Or maybe that is the fortunate case?

All I know is this: Unhappiness is not something to model after because then you'll spend your whole life unhappy. Why waste it brooding on the terrible parts when there are so many good ones?

Sadly, not everyone knows true happiness and many that do are too lazy to get it.

I guess it's time for a question: Are you role modeling happy or unhappy?

1/2/09

/Sigh


I joined my first high level linkshell recently called Avatarawakening.

For all those WoW players who are reading this, a linkshell is a guild, except in order to make it more Final Fantasy they made it explainable in-game! A Linkshell is an pearl earring you equip that allows you to talk to people around the world who have a pearl that comes from the same "shell". The "shell" is held by the owner of the linkshell and the owner can upgrade "pearl" holders to "sack" holders (lol) so they have a sack of pearls to give away instead of just one pearl (basiclly a guild moderator). Fun huh?! And you can pick the color of your Linkshell to almost anything!

Anyways, I've finally been able to talk to people who play FFXI regularly ... regularly! I don't just talk to a bunch of random angry people bitching about how to play the game. I think the best part is that everyone in the LS must be a lvl 70+ Summoner which means everyone has to like SMN at least a little :-) yay! It's a lot of fun and now I can do things regularly that I couldn't do on a regular basis (such as killing Fenrir, the omega avatar, without losing a million times). I just hope that my casual playing style doesn't get me kicked out or anything :-( I don't play every single day all the time because (NO OFFENCE) I have a life outside of the game that requires more time than FFXI every day.

I feel bad that I have been playing FFXI more than WoW recently (yes I play both... don't eat my babies). They both have advantages and disadvantages. I just enjoy FFXI more often than WoW and on occasion WoW is a nice break from FFXI. The only trouble is that ALL of my friends IRL play WoW (well, the gamer ones). This means that if I play FFXI I miss out on playing with them. My brother (Ars in game) plays FFXI with me regularly and I can count on him to play with me whenever we can. It makes FFXI a good time. In WoW, most of my friends have launched themselves into high level, endgame material that, as a lvl 20 something Priest who needs to be babied along, can't even think about.

At least in FFXI there is the new level sync system (it lowers everyones level to the target players level in the party and your higher level equipment DEF and abilities are reduced to appropriate stats). I really enjoy playing with other people. In WoW, the solo stuff is overwhelming to me and I feel like I'm dragging my friends around to say "Kill this" or "I need to get here". I don't like using people for my benefit and I enjoy the team effort involved. Too many times I've been run through a dungeon that someone murders for my pleasure of looting the corpses for low level gear I'll just chuck in a few levels. It isn't really fun at all :-( and I don't want to take time away from their high level stuff to help the level 20 something Priest who can't even solo a mob their own level (it's my own damn fault for liking a job that can't solo lol).

Oh well. I guess the real problem is that all my friends have characters too high of a level for me to play with. Dilemma: Play with level 60-80 friends who murder mobs instantly or play solo for the challenge and die a million times alone in the wilderness.

Death is another thing that confuses me. In WoW, death does not exist. You die, you come back, you die again. In FFXI, you die and you lose a significant amount of exp (you can even de-level). It makes battles more intense and meaningful when your party survives an epic battle or gets wiped by a tough monster. The whole "Opps" factor involved with WoW death makes me angry sometimes, but it makes gameplay run smoothly so you can't really complain I guess.

The challenge is what I play for and WoW just doesn't seem to make it for me. I mean even my summons, the avatars, were meaningful to get. I remember fighting each avatar alone and defeating each one just to be able to summon them. That was epic and it felt good. Each job in FFXI has it's own challenges for everyone's unique play style.

I don't really want to rant on WoW. Like I said before, I play both, but I guess I mainly play WoW to stay in touch with the people who are just a few buildings or miles away. But is it worth it to play a game I don't whole heartedly enjoy just to have a conversation with someone? My game time suggests a resonable answer. Oh well. I'll still be doing both considering my significant other loves WoW. :-) And I do enjoy the unlimited character creation. I'm sure once school starts I'll be playing WoW much more frequently with my brother busy all the time anyways.

/sigh

12/17/08

FINAl FANTASY XI - Level Up


The day before yesterday... I reached level 70 in Final Fantasy XI! I could never have done it without any of the help from my brother nor without SquareEnix's new level sync feature <(^^)> Thank you so much SquareEnix for caring so much about us casual players! I got invited to join a level 70+ Summoner exclusive linkshell and everything! I'm excited because this opens up the rest of the game that Katun couldn't go to before without the help of someone level 75 (the maximum level attainable). Anyways, go Final Fantasy XI! Time to battle new battles and reach new heights!

12/1/08

Once in a Lifetime


One of my life goals has been checked off now because of one magnificent night. Thank you everyone! It was amazing.

And in memory of that night...

Video Games Live! Volume One

11/29/08

I love you


When you look into my face
and tell me with tearless eyes
that you want be closer to me
then why, why I say
why cut off my right arm
and say with a smile
"I love you."
and expect me to smile back
with tearless eyes.

11/25/08

Match Maker's Minuet


Selfishly you only think of your life,
Yet I still bend down and give you a hand,
But why should I give you a decent wife,
If you cannot give me a decent man?
Though games you play with women I send you,
They move away so you can have your fill,
No never will I try to match you true,
Only one chance for love can you be billed.
And still you ask for one more chance from me,
While cursing every moment you had her,
Have you not thought of what this does to she,
The one you said that could last forever.
One chance you had to break a loving heart,
And now you'll go on living by my art.

11/19/08

Search Results for; Kyle Spaltholz


Today I decided to search myself on the Google blog search engine. I only got two results. I'll let the results speak for themselves.

the adventures of the amazons of pr'o ut jungle: episode i
15 Mar 2006 by VonEvil will do...
lastly are kyle spaltholz and dave johnson, doledi.” sasha took a moment to absorb the information before inquiring, “doledi?” dave responded, “yes, it’s the term used to refer to the follower of dole and a user of dole energy. ...
SNAP - http://snipetysnap.blogspot.com/
[ More results from SNAP ]

fuck you kyle.
14 Nov 2005 by Dylan
this is an entry dedicated to the cursing of one kyle spaltholz. this conversation is unabridged and unaltered, copied and pasted directly from my chat logs. this is me venting because kyle is acting retarded. ...
Dylan, quite the ladies man... - http://akaitokage.livejournal.com/
[ More results from Dylan, quite the ladies man... ]

Sadly, and accurate description of my past in two search engine results. The good news is that I know where the first result comes from and the "fuck you kyle" post was unreadable! ...but 3 years ago... who's to say it wasn't?

11/12/08

A l o n e


Finally, I am alone. I don't mean that thankfully as in I want to be alone. I just find the hours alone to myself enjoyable now and again. Lately, I've been a social whore compared to what I'm use to being. The internet is something of a useful tool now and again instead of a daily utility of entertainment that it use to be. I'm working on school more and more as my education career moves from student to teacher (in fact, tomorrow I am taking the PRAXIS exam... a SAT for teachers to show that I'm not a completely incompitent person on some basic level). It is exciting to think of being out of school with so much to look foward to. I'm in a relationship that I could never have imagined ever being in even just two short (and extremely long) years ago. Work is easier than easy and I work less and less with six classes approaching the next three semesters and four during this summer. The impact on my wallet isn't as bad as it could be. I can still barely afford presents for my close family (just bought a gift for my brother's birthday which just came in the mail about 3 weeks late due to shipping from China) and still save money for next semester's books and car insurance (hopefully during the breaks I will work enough to save enough for both...). My ever eventful social life is as dynamic as ever. I recently connected with some old friends, all of which promptly blew me off. Other friends from my past can't seem to be happy with me for whatever dramatic reason (It always seems like someone is mad at Kyle...). Newer friends are better than ever, being more support for me than they could ever imagine and helping me through one of the toughest challenges I will ever face without doing anything but being themselves. I keep a written journal (I admit I've been slacking... but one sentence lines every week work right?) and I've been keeping a much more developed writting tablet. My classes are more difficult than ever, yet are steadily getting easier as the semester progresses (prehaps with the approaching holiday). After getting over every illness that this university can throw at me, my body is now suffering from poor eating habits (candy, soda, candy, and an occasional water bottle) which I've never been driven to before. I do run to class frequently more for the exersize than the tardiness. It feels good to burn complex carbs every once and a while. Music is fading in and out now and again with my busy schedule and busy schedule. I recently enjoy listening to a few songs on the radio such as "Hot 'n Cold" and "Let It Rock". One of my friends told me "Hot 'n Cold" reminded them of me... which I can't deny. I've been all over the place these past few months juggling the troubles of life. On top of everything we are planning a trip to Anime Boston '09! It will be our third trip to the convention ever, but every time is a unique experience. Especially since we have a great group of people. Unfortunately, my ticket rides on boyfriend-girlfriend drama that I happen to have gotten stucked into (my own fault nonetheless) but unless that solves itself soon... it looks like I won't be going. I actually wouldn't mind saving the 400+ dollars on the weekend adventure, but I wouldn't like to invest that money in a trip I'm not going on. In any case, we will find out soon enough if I really will make it to Anime Boston as Ovan (.hack//GU, it took a while to decide but I think Ovan would be something that is flashy and epic enough that no one can miss me in a crowd... especially with a cannon thing on my arm). My RIC friends are going to be going all out on their costumes and so would I. Other things that have invaded my life include a new obsession with the game "Magic the Gathering", an extremely addicting card game known for it's amazing artwork and dynamic gameplay, the abandonment of most online games with little game time into FFXI (my personal favorite), an addiction to NOT reading the course texts until after the test and enjoying them beyond words, rereading the old fantasy series "The Lost Years of Merlin" in my spare time between class as well as playing "Pheonix Wright - Ace Attorney" (only one word I can say about that game: OBJECTION!) My skills at saving computers and pirating anything my heart desires has become a pastime of mine. My 1 terabyte hard drive is helping me not only backup everything that I own... no, everything on anyone's computer I want. At some point during the economic crisis I began watching CNN daily between 9-11PM while reading Google news (getting my daily depressing dose of reality). I stopped abruptly when two things happened: I realized that CNN was poisoning all the happy things around me and when I finally heard someone declare our economic recession that we supposedly were going to stop ... somehow ... without recessing. In any case, I've returned to the empty entertainment of Futurama (or you may say recently discovered) and the occasional Sarah Silverman (only 15 minutes at a time... then I switch over to CNN). I haven't seen much of my family in Illinois in over a year now and it is beginning to bother me. And yet, I know too well what I have done and what I deserve and what I will recieve from them from now on no matter what words they offer (actions are louder than words). So here I sit, typing my train of thought into my blog... alone in a dirty room listening to a randomized list of all the music I've stolen or taken from people with thier permission. The amazing amount of music out there is amazing, and yet no one ever understood why I enjoyed everything there was. Most people enjoy a few types of music. I enjoy them all. Yes, I'll admit from the inner part of my soul that somewhere even Bluegrass touches me at that certain time and place once every great while or so. I don't know what I'm doing here. I should be sleeping. Then I would be alone. In the dark. Staring at the ceiling. Listening to the generator outside hum a noise that makes the night pass soundly. It almost sounds like the engine of a great ship, driving my sleep deeper and deeper until suddenly I awaken to the sound of my phone vibrating like a hampster waking up in the middle of the night to run his squeaking wheel. I don't have class early on Mondays, Wednesdays, or Fridays... but those Tuesdays and Thursdays are the most terrible days. Actually I should get use to waking up in the morning nice and early. As a high school teacher, that would be my daily rutine. I really hope that somehow I can handle high school long enough to be a permanent asset to some educational development. Why English of all the options? Because I love books, literature, poems, stories. I beat I could tell you a story you've never heard of before without any preparation (alright, maybe 5 minutes to think of a good starting point). I could definately survive at least 500 Arabian Nights. I've never tried. My toes are cold at the moment if you were wondering. I don't know if it is the music or my sitting position. I never sit properly. I am always lifting a leg awkwardly or crouching on the chair (ever seen a picture of "L" from deathnote? Yeah, something not as dramatic as that but close). My fingers are cold too, despite the typing. I should get some clothes on and get into bed. Yes, get clothes on. I'm naked. I'm alone, in my room, typing this post, completely naked. Well, I've got glasses on... but I can't see anything without them. I wonder if my movie finished downloading. I'm too lazy or tired or something to check. I'll just get the blanket off the floor and go to bed. Damn. Text from a group member. A project. Due soon. Don't want to do it. Can't meet group because of the test tomorrow. I'll get the info later. For now, I'll get to bed. I'm tired now. I am going to sleep.

10/29/08

The Nugatory Tales (part 2)


Amongst us, the bold few,
Who adventured from the sea,
Whine a glorious tune,
That makes the buzzards sing,
Of the purifying waters,
And the fierce tides,
That can manifest change,
Where we were born,
the god of devastation,
the deep, endless ocean.
Where is it?


Amongst the company of youth,
One did know the way,
He often rested by the sea,
Listening to the soothing sound,
Of the sadistic crests,
Cleaning away the marks,
Carved into the sand dunes,
"Who wants to go,
to the sea,
and clean ourselves,
of impurity?"


Only ten agreed to go,
These pupils now knowing,
Ready to journey out,
And best the world,
By their own experiences,
Of trial and tribulation,
That are nugatory.
What can they teach,
when all they know,
is that naive query;
What is love?

10/17/08

The Nugatory Tales



The end of many things.
Of a cold, terrible winter
and the bitter, budding sprouts
from the trees, into leaves
leaving a fine, lurid dust
that poison which floods
away in May, clean in June
When green and blue roar,
like a lioness pride,
ready for the hunt.
We are ready.


The doors open and we stumble
into our freedom and slavery
unsure of what or whom,
to do or see.
Naive natives out for ourselves
and the lust for adventure
that never seems quenched.
An infinite, white map,
of finite satisfaction,
blotched with black.
Where do we go?

Moleskin Endeavors


Once again, more time on paper than computer for me recently. I'll post some stuff I started recently. "Outside" was from the moleskin too so maybe I should just photo copy my whole moleskin and start posting that... hmmm... Nah, too much effort!

Although I have noticed a tendency to being unable to find the words I want to use. I need a thesaurus... but whipping that out during ENG 242 probubly isn't going to get me any points with the professor!

10/5/08

Outside


Outside
the morning shivers
the dusk in a rush
Outside
there is a perfume
mother will not share
Outside
the bat and the rat
my mouth waters
Outside
there is a rustle
an orangutang
Where is it?
Where is it?
Where is it?

9/20/08

Short Assignments...


Self-Portrait:

Oh, blue rose,
what are you hidding?
I can see,
your soft petals,
and thorns,
but the true beauty,
Mystery.
Why have you given,
to hidding,
the desires of,
the heart?
Why have you taken,
to defending,
an innocent life,
but ending,
the potentially,
immature?
But, your petals are,
so white!
Sir, indeed.

9/14/08

Third Post-Post


So I haven't been completely blog-less in the past days since I started school. I have started two posts before this one which remain 'unposted' because they aren't complete yet (I don't know if they ever will be). I wanted to post because I have had this nagging feeling inside of me to post something here and not in my head or my moleskin (which I haven't been writing much in either...).

I've had a lot of trouble with school starting, not getting the classes I had planned all summer for, getting new ones, meeting old friends, dealing with drama, trying to remain social with EVERYONE, doing school work, going to work-work (and not get fired for charging 700$ worth of express cards by accident... whoops...), talking to family, spending time with grandma while mom and dad are away for anniversary, and trying to get sleep.

I'm failing at most (if not all) of these things and need a break where I can organize my thoughts, rest, sleep on some things, and just relax for one day. The last time I did that... feels like ages ago. And it is only Mid-September-ish!

I've been very mad at myself for not having the ability to write creatively recently. I'm going to have to use that relaxation day and dedicate a portion to creatively writing poetry or (what I've been trying to do since forever) create a short story.

8/18/08

Ghosts in the Mist


The abandoned theatre was abandoned again. There was no one else to stir the dust on the stage. The ghosts were long gone. Their voices had faded into the shadows and their bodies into a thick mist that covered the room.

Then, out of the mist spun one lonely figure, slowly rotating out of slumber. It is 'She'. 'She' turns to the stage and floats into position. "She" is facing the empty room. Her mouth begins to move, but no voice comes from within.

"She" is no longer existing. "She" is no longer a person. "She" is just being remembered at that very moment. Just remembered. And then as the thought passes from the mind of "They", "She" unwinds back into the mist and fades once again into the subconscious of "They".

8/14/08

//Zoonosis Blame


When the world seems to die around humanity,
Instead of blaming themselves,
They turn to the one they can blame,
Without hearing a voice that fights back.

What weakness they show.

What weakness.



"When the truth is found to be lies
and all the joy within you dies
don't you want somebody to blame
don't you need somebody to blame
wouldn't you love somebody to blame
you better find somebody to blame."

-Jefferson